mental health and therapy take aways 1
so its been a while since i wrote down anything. but today i am not having a great day and i want to take some notes on mental health issues that i am facing recurrently. i am taking that from different sources like books, reports, talks with friends or other people, documentaries and of course also my weekly group therapy (which is not taking place unfortunatly for the next couple of weeks).
right now i am watching a documentary about a girl that is living with social anxiety who is learning not to let her anxiety hold her back that much anymore and showing a lot of courage while doing it. and i want to take away some things about it.
in one scene she is talking to her therapist who asks how her social surroundings and attachment figures reacted when she first started to experience anxiety in social situations and interactions and their response was: "don't make such a fuss and just do it". so they communicated to her that the feelings she is feeling are wrong and that they are out of place within their space. this is an act of NEGLECT and DEPRECIATION. the therapist the therapist categorizes these statements as such and continues that what the girl might have needed was an reaction of ACCEPTENCE which is shown for example by acknowlegding her feelings and asking questions about them. that you make sure that the person feels seen. he adds if its a child experiencing the anxiety also consolation and comfort can be important and adequate reactions. he continues: "when we try to resist certain feelings then they are going to be stronger and stronger. thats one of most reliable findings in psychotherapy research. but when we are able to accept our thoughts and feelings, they become integrated and their intensity diminishes. what is an important take away here for me is that (social) anxiety is allowed to be there and i am allowed to feel afraid. its okay for me to feel afraid. when i was in the clinic i noticed that i can be very strict to myself and cultivate negative believes structures just as "you are not allowed to feel this or that way" or "showing insecurity is not acceptable at all"... or otherwise you are not worth anything anymore, you're unworthy trash and all the others will see, agree and know that as well. your cover will be blown and that will be beyond terrible. well. also it helps me to name and to oppose acts of depreciation of my feelings and i can be mad and vocal about it because i deserve acceptance. and it makes me more clear that i want to surround myself with people who are appreciative and do accept them.
she is collecting "moments of courage" on a daily basis and i find that very sweet and inspiring!
there are days in which you are mentally not doing so well and also are way less confident and more anxious than usually. this happens but does not mean that its like this forever and that you can not feel more confident and trusting in your abilities again.
creating an anxiety hierachy: what is causing anxiety on a scale between 1 and 10 or how would an anxiety pyramid look like for me? that might be a good impulse for next therapy session. she says: "the worst thing about this list is that most of the things could also end up being fun and the anxiety is destroying them". i am seeing myself there too with attending workshops for example or being part of a lot of sorts of group projects.
the therapist has the idea of a confrontation: talking to random people on the street. he says that the challenge for her is to lead the focus. away from the focus that she is directing to herself (for example thoughts like "i am too annoying", "i will be weird", etc.) and instead directing the focus towards to the one opposite. the self-focus keeps fueling the fear. also a friend dealing with anxiety told me last year that a panic attack is the gravity acting on oneself.
feel the maximum of fear --> let is subside again --> be proud of yourself
again: the fear is allowed to be there.
thats all for now :) i really recommend watching the documentary!
source:
angst vor abwertung und ablehnung: mandys alltag mit einer angststörung https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1kX9VmQ-jA&t=7s